doctor doctor give me the news ...

the holidays. i hate them. i feel like i'm the only one. spent the night at my parents last night, still here. the damn crazy ass weather trapped me here from going home. this would have been tom and i's 3rd christmas together. still getting over it. it's hard. i still can't seem to let go. oh rose!

the stress of christmas

i'm not a holiday person. i like normal regular days that were meant to not be celebrated. i just want this holiday season to be over already. is that too much to ask for?

last night was fun and cozy and cold. sara and i lounged around the house underneath my electric blanket watching identity on bravo. i seriously sucked at that. dave and his macbook graced us with their presence. sara and i ended up going out to joey's (bar) for much needed stella artois and hang out time.

spoke to vincent this morning. he gets into town late tomorrow night. he will be here for a full week. tuesday night we are going gaming. ha! who ever thought i'd be going gaming with vincent valdez and alex rubio? completely hilarious.

in other news: today is my friend joey's birthday. he is 34. happy birthday joey!

grey skies

last night dad came over to drop off this enormous yet beautiful fake plant for my home. i guess it's mum's way of making me feel not so alone. anyway i left the plant on my porch because i couldn't figure out where to put it in the house. it rained last night. geezlaweez, leave it to me to even kill a fake plant. :(

i decided not to take/start the job at the cancer care center. i don't think my emotional state could deal with death and illness for forty hours a week. i'm very optimistic that i can find a new job before the new year. i still have my job with clinique so it will be a real struggle but won't be all that bad.

i am strongly thinking of subletting my loft. i honeslty just can afford it and live comfortably. i would barely be getting by.

my parents have started their intervention and asked if i wanted to stay with them. ummmm. i haven't lived with them in about 6 years during those 6 years i stayed with them maybe 2 months. it sounds good in a way. i could save money, go back to school, get over the whole break-up thing but i don't know. i'm going to be 30, living with the parents is just so uncool.

i really would love to just move into a smaller apartment and start new. thing is i have to live in this apartment for 6 months before i transfer to another apartment. fuck!

sinking..

life has been sucking. still trying to deal with post-break-up feelings. i feel really happy one minute then the next i'm in the sulking mode. i guess it's common but i do not like the sulking part. also i was really excited to start my new job at the cancer center but yesterdays training was all about having cancer and how sick the patients are and it's not a happy atmosphere. i seriously do not know if this was the best choice for me now. being sad all day at work then coming home to an empty home is a little to much to deal with. i can't even stay unemployed for a bit cause when tom was here the bills were cut in half and he left me with every single bill including the apartment. i can't even move into a smaller apartment because it's a 200 dollar transferring fee to move plus rent. geezus. today was my last day at university (the happy upbeat hospital.) what did i do?

last night i was able to laugh and smile for a bit. picked up veronica guess and her boyfriend and we went to scuba's for b-b-q and football game. took vee and danny back to their place cause they were going to bennanigans and i went to scuba's where we then headed to the mix and joey's. i started getting a little sad again so cros took me back to scuba's to get my car and i was home and in bed before 2:00 a.m.

my aunts left back to italy today. i feel guilty because they were here for three weeks and i only spent two days with them. i didn't even spend two complete days with them. 30 minutes here. 1 hour there. sad.

i'm such a sulker. i should stop dwelling. it's hard.

living alone blows.

hate this. tom moved out a little over a week ago and i still can not seem to get into the groove of single life and living alone. yesterday was a real shite day. i actually missed tom a little and wished he still lived here so i at least someone to talk to or take a walk with or just laugh with. we were together for over two years and now i realise how attached i really was to him. who knew?

(*note - just because i am going thru tom withdrawal does not mean there will be any reunion of us on any sort!)

today has been a pain in the ass (sorta.) i finally took on the task of cleaning the guest bathroom downstairs and boy does it shine now. so fresh and so clean. i still have to do laudry and i still have to wash dishes. i still have to buy groceries too. i have NOTHING in my fridge. the only think i have that is actually edible is a jar of nutella and swiss miss hot chocolate (lonely girl food.)

sweet. my phone just went off and it's cros saying their b-b-q'ing at scuba's tonight. hopefully i can get all my chores done and go. ha!, i said chores. funny.

rough

weekend you were rough to me. yawn. stretch. i think i went out the past 5 nights in a row. bad. very very bad. today i am grumpy and pissy and even the awesome omelet i made didn't even cheer me up. it's a sunday. i love sundays! i'm just too damn exhausted to appreciate it. thursday night i went to alex rubio's unveiling at blue star. fun. he is the sweetest guy. met up with cros and scuba & them for darts and beers then back to scuba's for pop tarts and milk (that's just how i roll.) friday night carol and i met up with joey and sara at limelight for paint by numbers last show. good times. carol stayed the night. we slept in my little bed together. awwwww. last night sara came over after work and we had a subway dinner then went to meet up with cros and peeps at 00's and logans, got to catch miguel's band at logan's which was fun dancing times (that bar smells like shit though.) today i promised sister i would spend the day with her but i am just too damn exhausted to even move from this couch, plus i have about 4 laundry baskets consisting of dirty clothes i need to wash and to top it all off i have a very dirty house and a million dirty dishes. ugh. this is supposed to be my relaxing day. so.not.cool.

one is the lonelist number.

went out. didn't really want to. hung with joey and had a rosario's boyfriend sighting. ick. tom finally moved out. took all his things. no sign of him in house anymore. after two years it is over. we broke up awhile back but still lived together because credit cards/bills were under our names together. now everything is finalized and it is done. wow. even though we haven't been a couple for the past 2 months it is weird to come home to nothing. just the simple pleasure of knowing another being was here was enough, now nothing. not even a sound. this is a little harder than expected. at 29 i have my whole life ahead of me but i hate to say at 29 another relationship is sent down the drain. now it's back to the drawing board. single life beckons me but i shy away. i kinda knew he would leave soon but what i did not know was how miserable it would feel walking into an empty home. it hurts.

sweetness.

sweet. my netflix came in. an inconvienent truth, alias (last disc), and thank you for smoking. i might just have to stay in tonight and watch movies, maybe order a pizza. mmmmm.

tomorrow night is alex rubio's unveiling for bomb magazine @ 6:00 p.m. at blue star. press conference + opening reception = free food and free wine. yes! it is free so people in san antonio should def. check it out.

friday night sara, joey, and i are heading out to limelight for x-mas party of the year and rap music goodness. nice.

my hands are cold and my tummy is hungry so this is all. <3, rose

space between

Dec. 12th, 2006 | 04:04 pm
things i have done from last week until today.

attended turtle's 30th birthday party at beethoven's thursday night. drank yummy stella, glorius stella! me, scuba steve, and cros ended up going to the mix to finish the night off.

friday i worked then stayed in. no going out for me.

saturday i finally made it to my parents house to spend quality time with my aunts. i heart the italians. ha. sat. night i met up with carol and the girls for dancing and drinking. carol, daja, and i ended up going to a festivus for the rest of us party that cros invited us to. stayed out til four. carol and scuba are hilarious with their, place thy dainty hoof on thy shoulder. so good.

sunday me, vane, and carol went to that little bar across the street from the house for girl talk and some lone star..

yesterday worked. hung out with carol and cros. he stayed over. talked to v. all night yaaaaay. v. invited me to alex's opening at blue star on thurs. night. v. put me +3 on the guest list if anyone wants to go. dave?

i feel like if i am coming down with a cold or something. i have chills, itchy throat, stuffy head. boo.

back to work. love, rosie

sixty

dragged ass all day. stay up till 2:00 a.m. last night watching alias. woke up at 6:30 this morn to be at work at 8:00. 4.5 hours of sleep is just not enough. newest member of alias = baltazar getty. what? this last/final season is actually good. awww and vaughn is dead ....