sinking..

life has been sucking. still trying to deal with post-break-up feelings. i feel really happy one minute then the next i'm in the sulking mode. i guess it's common but i do not like the sulking part. also i was really excited to start my new job at the cancer center but yesterdays training was all about having cancer and how sick the patients are and it's not a happy atmosphere. i seriously do not know if this was the best choice for me now. being sad all day at work then coming home to an empty home is a little to much to deal with. i can't even stay unemployed for a bit cause when tom was here the bills were cut in half and he left me with every single bill including the apartment. i can't even move into a smaller apartment because it's a 200 dollar transferring fee to move plus rent. geezus. today was my last day at university (the happy upbeat hospital.) what did i do?

last night i was able to laugh and smile for a bit. picked up veronica guess and her boyfriend and we went to scuba's for b-b-q and football game. took vee and danny back to their place cause they were going to bennanigans and i went to scuba's where we then headed to the mix and joey's. i started getting a little sad again so cros took me back to scuba's to get my car and i was home and in bed before 2:00 a.m.

my aunts left back to italy today. i feel guilty because they were here for three weeks and i only spent two days with them. i didn't even spend two complete days with them. 30 minutes here. 1 hour there. sad.

i'm such a sulker. i should stop dwelling. it's hard.